In the beginning,

  God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the earth with

  broccoli and cauliflower, spinach, green, yellow and red vegetables

  of

   all   kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using

   God's

  great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Crispy Creame Donuts.

  And

   Satan

  said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said "Yeah," and woman

  said, "And another one with sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.

   And God created the healthy yogurt that woman might keep the figure

  that man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the

   wheat,

   and sugar from the cane and combined them. And woman went from size 6

    to

   size 14.

   So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented

   Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the side. And man and

   woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

   God then said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive

   oil

   in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and

   chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And man gained

   more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

   God then brought running shoes so that his children might lose those

   extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man

    would

    not

   have to get up to change the channels. And man and woman laughed and

   cried

   before the flickering light and gained pounds.

   Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming

   with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced

   the

   starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And man gained pounds.

   God then gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and

   still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its

    99-cent

   double cheeseburger. Then he said, "You want fries with that?" And

   man

   replied, "Yeah, and super size 'em." And Satan said "It is good." And

    man

    went

   into cardiac arrest.

   God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

   Then Satan created H  M Oaz.